Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Bye..bye 2009



Wow, hard to believe the year is all done, gone, over. So..this is the last post of 2009.

The first one was on 14 March 2009. It was a Saturday morning, I woke up from the bed and straight on to the computer to write the blog. I was inspired by Chika's blog and I am happy to be the inspiration for a few other bloggers. Blogging has definitely helped me improve in my thought process and even in expressing them.

2009...Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything. THAT'S ME!!malas sebenarnya..tatau nak citer ape.plus macam agak bz n blur...but..i already posted my 2010 resolution guys..I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on New Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.hahahha..or maybe the day after or...or..hahhaha...

well...welcome 2010.new year.same goal..CHEERS!!

Monday, December 28, 2009

secreto





Dear YOU,

I live day to day thinking of you. I picture in my mind everything about you, as if you were really here beside me. My world is spinning; I can feel defeat, why can't I sleep? Why does my throat close whenever you speak? My heart breaks just to be around you. I take in the way you move, the way you talk, and the way you smell whenever you are around. My eyes directed down when your gaze falls upon me, that bashful smile - I want you so badly! This tension, it kills me. My unspoken attraction is enough to fill up volumes.

As I sit here watching astro channel 712, my heart still thinking of you. My pain is my entire fault; when will I learn? You would never want me. I'm not perfect, beautiful, or anything important. I have to let the dream of you and me go, for I am a woman with an unrequited crush.


You always were a special friend. You knew that, I knew that. Only I knew something more. I knew that I loved you and I have for so long. You complain because you can't find the "right girl." I guess friendship makes you go blind to see what's standing
right in front of you...

Your secret,
CRUSH

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

for FUN

How Many People Fall In Love With Me?
fun quizzes and meme for blog

Lets101 - Free Online Dating



MAYBE I'M A LESBIAN????I KISSED A GIRL & I LIKE????EUWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.....

What are the best compatible zodiacs for me?
fun quizzes for myspace profile and blog

Lets101 Quizzes - Myspace Quizzes For Fun

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

gia and her losing mind



What to do when love leaves
That, I never learned
Like I’m going to love today as well
I wait for you
I saw her in your embrace
Looking so happy
I want to tell her, that where she is
Is my spot
Don’t love her, don’t forget me
Am I not enough for you

You were the one you said
That having only love would make everything possible
In a world without you, without you
I have no will to live another day
Give my lonely heart courage
So I can wait..

Along with the night sky, if I draw you
It’s like the spot of a sad star
Even if I cover it with my hand, it can’t be covered
You’re like fate
Don’t love her, don’t forget me
Am I not enough for you

You were the one you said
That having only love would make everything possible
In a world without you, without you
I have no will to live another day
Give my lonely heart courage
So I can wait..

I want to let you go, to forget you
Because there were so many days of love
I don’t know where to start erasing you
When can you smile again
Even if I see someone who looks like you, brushing past by chance
I feel like if I turn around, you’ll be there
I guess nothing is really possible without you
Come back to me..

You know what I think? I think there's a reason for everything. And I think that there's a plan for everyone. And I think that God has a big plan for me. Just not in this life.

men and their testosterone


Any response??Is it TRUE???

1)There's two kinds of guys. The ones who hold your hand and the ones that f**k you.

2)If a man says “I’ll call you,” and if he doesn’t, he didnt forget, he didnt lose your number, he didnt die, he just didnt want to call you

3)Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause – you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

4)Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

5)Guys virtually brag about anything.

6)According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

7)Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship

Monday, December 21, 2009

2 Days MORE

semalam lepas balik dari opis yang sepuluh kangkang kera...hav my lunch/dinner..lepak sat...then g joging n swimming..ntah tatau ape masalah..badan jadi cergas macam ape tatau..siap boleh baca buku lelaki paling sexy di dunia..whoaaaa...bukan rob pattinson ok..donald trump..sexy ke die??ntah..i think he's sexy with all the money in his account..aku kan mata duitan..hahhaha..xde lah aku dok mengadap buku tu je..sempat la layan 4 episode running in heels..then..
tengok awan dania..padan muka si sofia tu kena siram ngan air..patut dania amik je teh o ais yg kat atas meja tu siram sofia..nape laa die amik air jarang or plain water je..isy..isy...datin tu pon sangat annoying..sumpah macam geli tgk dorg..lepas tgk dania..tgk hannah montana wif erika n aza..da pkol 1 x ble tdo lagi..sangat pelik..layan sehati berdansa ngan erika...budak kecik tu pon tdo lewat..pagi2 pon boleh bersosial dance dgn erika..hahahhaha..then kami pon buat keputusan nak tdo..aku terkelip2 secara banyak..tiba2..CHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG...tdo la aku sampai pkol 8...n now..i'm sleepy like hell!!





Children are unpredictable..hehhee..**gia's smiling sooo wide!!**

P/S: Lagi 2 hari nak cuti panjang..YAY!!!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

dreams



Dreams are necessary to life.Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.

Few years back i asked a highly successful businessman: "How have you done so much in your lifetime?"

He replied, "I have dreamed. I have turned my mind loose to imagine what I wanted to do. Then I have gone to bed and thought about my dreams. In the night I dreamt about my dreams. And when I awoke in the morning, I saw the way to make my dreams real. While other people were saying, 'You can't do that, it isn't possible,' I was well on my way to achieving what I wanted."

He continued: "We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers."

They see things in the soft haze of a spring day, or in the red fire on a long winter's evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nourish them through bad days until they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true."

So please, don't let anyone steal your dreams, or try to tell you they are too impossible.


I was like thinking..digesting..everything that he told me..and all i wanted to do for the time-being is getting myself more organize..


And this is my 2010 dreams:

1)physical : 45 kg
2)pursue my MBA
3)settle my PTPTN
4)Bali trip
5)Krabi trip with bobo
6)Cupcakes classes
7)wedding-storyboard
8)5k in my saving account

EASY??no T______________T


Yours Truly

Saturday, December 19, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIKA



hmmm..hari ni ramai sgt org yg celebrate birthday..includes ira's niece..erika..wish this adorable kiddo a wonderful birthday..i owe u a birthday present ok!!


hmm..nothing much i did for a long weekend..hujung bulan..x keluar...xde duit.dok rumah jadi budak baik..laundry..cuci toilet..kemas bilik..TV..reading my old journal..itu je la...n most of the time..TIDO...saya memang sangat suka tido..kalo kat samura..saya memang terkenal dengan aktiviti tido secara berleluasa...sampai dapat award PUTERI PALING KUAT TIDO..sangat malu lah bukan??

i miss my cotton candy..eyh..tiba2..kena strok sejuk ke ko neh????

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Doa Awal & Akhir Tahun

credit to: http://aprincessdieries.blogspot.com/


The last day of the year has always been a time for looking back to the past, and more importantly, forward to the coming year. It's a time to reflect on the changes we want (or need) to make and resolve to follow through on those changes. GIA wishes all Muslims a prosperous and happy new year as tomorrow is d 1st day of Muharram, the month denoting the beginning of the Islamic Lunar Calendar of the year 1431.with ♥


Doa Akhir Tahun. Dibaca 3 kali pada penghujung waktu Asar, sebelum masuk waktu Maghrib





Doa Awal Tahun. Dibaca sebanyak 3 kali selepas solat Maghrib.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Cause There's Beauty in the Breakdown



Semua cerita di bawah adalah mengikut pandangan GIA. Maka kalo ade yang sentap atau x setuju dengan pandangan di bawah..suka hati korang..ok??


 

BEAUTY OF LIFE

Life...is beautiful...LOVE ur LIFE nyanyi lagu Hallmark channel sket


 

Memang lah kadang2 hidup neh upside down..kalo di kaji2 balik..di pikir2 balik…tengah serabut giler babi otak pk masalah yang banyak..jangan ingat umur 22 tahun x banyak masalah..walaupon sendiri carik masalah..hahahhaa..ada jugak happiness yg datang..for me,that's the beauty of LIFE..


 


 

EXAMPLE 1

Ingat lagi masa aku break-up 2 tahun dulu. Dengan nak final exam. Dengan sebok MPP. Aku ni kalo break up bukan macam org normal. Cik Bird jadi superwoman time tu..bagi semangat..nanges berjemaah..ajak g holidays…makan durian kat tangga. Karox setiap hari. Hasilnya..keputusan final aku melebihi ape yang aku target 3.4++

Actually,Cik Bird is the happiness that Allah S.W.T granted to me...semoga Allah SWT memberkati hidup ko cik bird..walau kat mne ko berada..walau ape laki ko pk pasal aku..aku alwez sayang and appreciate ko..Kalo cik bird xde time tu aku tatau la jadi ape kat aku..3 pointer pon xkan lepas.


 

EXAMPLE 2

During my convocation.time tu baru dapat keje.xde kete.xde duit nak bayar duit konvo. Time last day buat pembayaran,last resort,pinjam duit kat stranger. SANGAT STRANGER. Aku pajak HP kat die. Ade dah la duit nak bayar. Pastu, parents gaduh berebut nak datang convo anak sulung.Last2 dua-dua pun x dtg. Aku mmg da plan malas da nak g konvo. Leceh. Result pon bukannya bagus pon. Tiba2 nenek aku cakap nak datang. Terpaksalah aku g shah alam amik jubah..semuanya secara solo + duit xde. Naik bas. Yang syoknye..otw balik..hujan lebat x hengat..habes basah sumer..jubah basah + paperbag yang UiTM bg untuk letak jubah koyak..ko bayang macam mne aku nak bawak jubah + topi konvo aku tatau ape nme die. Nanges2 aku petang tu. Then, the next day konvo secara solo. Sedey la jugak sebab x sangka pon boleh datang jugak konvo. ade la jugak nanges 2-3 titik sbb org lain ade parents teman..The happiness came when my skolmate..kinah + nadey + mama kinah + nenek dtg konvo tu…x kesah la walau x dapat bunga or bear…cukup la ade orang yang tersayang datang..sumpah hepi time tu..


 


 

so…ape yang boleh aku konklusikan: Good Friends are my happiness. HAPPINESS DURING BREAKDOWN is the beauty of life.


 

P/S: Ade banyak contoh lain. Tapi x larat nak type


 

BEAUTY OF HUMAN

Beauty is definitely more important on the inside than the out, because although a good looking person might be fun to **** AND they might not be all that fun to live with on a daily basis. Kecantikan adalah hak milik setiap insan. TRUE. Everybody have their own beauty. Setakat aku ingat pada masa aku hidup neh ada banyak jenis manusia yang aku jumpa..and sekarang kita FOKUS pada topic kita pada hari ini B.E.A.U.T.Y..ada 4 kategori org yang pernah aku jumpa.


 

  1. ORANG X CANTIK, PERANGAI CANTIK.
  2. ORANG X CANTIK, PERANGAI X CANTIK.
  3. ORANG CANTIK, PERANGAI CANTIK.
  4. ORANG CANTIK, PERANGAI X CANTIK


 

Biarlah kadang2 ada tu yang muka pecah x hengat..but..orang tu lah yang datang kat kte time kita susah..xde tempat mengadu..Si dia yang baik hati itu tiru ayat majalah REMAJA..hahhahaha sebenarnya sangat cantik di dalam..Ada jenis orang ni suka sangat mengaku cantik, hensem & yang sewaktu dengannya. Aku macam pelik kadang2 ada org macam menghina orang yang less beautiful…and pantang datuk nenek moyang aku menghina orang cacat. Ko ingat dorg yang cacat neh suka2 hati nak dilahirkan or mintak macam tu ke? Macam lah awak tu perfect sangat…Da r kurang lawa..ade hati nak mengata orang. Mungkin die perlu dihadiahkan cermin yg sangat besar bg sedar diri.


 

What I'm trying to say is for a long and happy life you have to like who the person that is beauty in the inside, or it just wont work, so in my eyes it is more important, yes most of us need to find the person physically attractive, as well, but I think inside is first and foremost on the list of importance,   and that you shouldn't be afraid to over look things on the outside if you really like who they are inside.


 

Aku xde lah nak kata aku ni cantek (aku adalah sangat x cantek,gemuk,silly)...NEVER...I won't say that coz I don't have the right to judge myself...This topic is general where I think it's necessary for us to balance the beauty inside and out...


 

After all we are all beautiful in our own way.


 

With love…

gia

Monday, December 14, 2009

Caution: This is not a lie.

my status:You know what I think? I think there's a reason for everything. And I think that there's a plan for everyone. And I think that God has a big plan for me. Just not in this life.

xecca's comment: You are trying to underestimate yourself my dear. God gives doors for us. What we need to do is to open the door ( but dont forget to use your brain before you open any doors ok). Explore your life to the MAX! All the best my dearie friend~


my explanation:
i'm not underestimating myself..i alwez in bad luck situations..i'm born in a broken family..i had a relationship wif a bastard..i need a companion...aku mcm nak keje ngan PBB je..tgk org yg lagi susah dr aku...aku rasa hepi biler kawan2 aku ade ngan aku..kalo sekor2...aku da blur tatau nak buat..People keep going away from me, that hurts.alwez..people that i LOVE said "I have to go," "I have to go," where the fuck does everybody go when they have to go?

i thought when i'm working..it will makes me forget about my problems..but..it doesn't. Work. I thought i have a gift, i wanna use it. Life, life will be there later. I thought when i have worked, and i have lived, life is easy. but..work isn't the answer..aku keje pon da macam palat je aku rasa..sumpah aku rasa mcm palat skrg keje..pk nak dapat gaji ujung bulan je..hati ntah da dekat mne..aku x suka aku dapat gaji dr hasil keje x ikhlas..aku tensen tau..nampak je mcm aku ok..aku hepi..tapi x...aku mmg dissappointed la xecca..lepas satu..satu...lepas satu..satu..poning palo den...naseb baik blom botak..hahhaa..kalo botak pakai syampoo bawang..

my heart said:life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for having been allowed to walk where I've walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it, and above.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

girls outing & weekend

weee...weeeeeeetttttttt

Imagine, being blind and not being able to see a beautiful day like today. Can you think of anything worse?

salam..lama dah aku x update nate neh..(wahh kecek kelate)..bukan ape..malas dowh lately nak update..otak tatau tertinggal katne..naseb bek hari khames macam otak tu datang sendiri kat aku..ting!!!girl's day out...sgt menarik la bukan??xecca telah membelanja baby die,mira & aku mentengok preview The Princess & The Frog(actually tiket tu di sponsor oleh x-fm..n since xecca keje kat sinar.fm..dapat la tempias tiket free..under 1 roof la katakan)....before citer tu start..ade la games yg x-fm buat..

games:buat sampan pakai duit kertas
hadiahnye: patung katak yg mcm comel..patung pokemon aku yg nme marion pon da x rupa pokemon..da macam pokemon kena kusta da aku tgk
dalam hati kata:kalo dapat patung tu pon syok jugak

atas dasar nak mendapatkan patung katak aku pon beria2 buat sampan, tapi x sempat...aku macam ingat x ingat nak buat sampan tu..buat bola kertas pandai la.hmm..wotever it is..ade org da dapat dulu..cesss..xpe2..next time..aku berlatih lagi buat sampan..abes game movie pon start..citer die ade part yg sweet (citer katak yang bercinta mne ble lawan vampire berchenta)..n d best part ble ray cakap.."Goodbye Pookie"..untuk otak pencarut macam aku neh mmg cepat je tangkap benda2 neh..ape lagi aku n twin,mira..pon gelak bagai nak rak..x ble handle btol..boleh plak dalam citer kartun untuk tontonan kanak2 ade sebut POOKIE...POOKIE tu ape??cari sendiri!!

Habis tgk movie..g lepak d'tomyam..since aku da lme x jumpa mira..ktorg dok flashback mcm2 story..pasal hantu SAMURA..pasal kenakalan dan kegemaran budak2 nakal yg dok asmara..eyh..asmara plak..asrama la weiii..all in all..it was another awesome night i've ever had afta all the FUCK-ness (another nu word i've invented) in my daily life..



weekend akan menjadi hari paling best kat dunia..cuti la katakan..sape cakap cuti x best..PENIPU BESAR..masuk neraka tau kalo tipu..aiyokkk..tak tau..mak balik bawak kayu..tersepak bontot lembu!!HARI CUTI adalah hari paling best dalam dunia..sebab aku boleh buat ape yang aku suka..xde org nak kesah ape aku buat..tido semasa cuti adalah tdo terpaling heaven..aku namakan tdo masa cuti tdo-bgn-sendiri-tanpa-kejutan..pkol 10,11,12 waima pkol 5 petang sumer aku pnye suka nak bangun pkol bpe..yg syoknye time cuti neh..aktiviti mandi dibekukan sampai aku rasa nak g swimming..tros terjun..lepas swimming baru mandi..jimat sket air kat umah tu..hahaha..cakap pasal swimming macam la terror giler swimming..sebenarnye aku adalah sgt terror berendam je..then..sun-bathing buat bra-line instead of bikini line...bajet nak jadi sexy la ade bikini line..suka hati aku nak buat ape la kan..petang tu..g lepak jap makan tomyam putih terbaekk dr ladang..borak-berak jap..balik umah..KEMAR datang jumaat malam dgn membawa bekalan rokok..sejak dok d'rimba..aku malas nak kuar dr kawasan umah 2-3 kali sehari..aku x dapat lagi stiker n pass card..agak tensen jugak la guard dok tnye..naseb bek aku PR baik pnye ngan guard..lepas la hari2 bese..hari jumaat kedai kat dalam d'rimba neh tutup..wei..pakcik aku pnye besday ..ko tutup kedai pehalllll...(bajet sultan selangor pacik aku)..naseb bek kemar dtg..penyelamat alam sungguh ko neh!!

the next day..aku dok sekor2 kat umah..kemar g dating ngan kunk..aku dating ngan lappy..then..dalam pkol 7 mcm tu..khidir sampai..ktorg nak g swimming..aku on je..ktorg + aza,my housemate pon swimming sampai kemar balik..mandi + pakai2 cantik2..aku,kemar,khidir n kunk pon melepak kat eckywoobee then tros sambung lepak kat cynna..lme gle aku x buat aktiviti kecergasan malam2..sakit2 kaki aku dibuatnye..tu r..nak melaram sgt kan pakai heels 3 inci..amik ko..

TAYANG GAMBAR NGAN CIK KEMAR SKET



BAJET NAK BUAT AKSI PANAS..



hari ahad..kemar balik ke kampung halaman..aku dok umah je smlm..layan TV..masak..TIDO..

Tu je r citer weekend kali ni...x sabar nak cuti balik...kalo aku ni kaya..sumpah aku da sampai VEGAS..Vegas can be a wild sort of place. You can do crazy things and nobody will no once you leave Vegas because so many crazy things happen there that even if anyone does actualy notice they won't care enough to tell..

till then~

Sunday, December 6, 2009

randomness

bila korang kena tagged, isi dan post balik dlm new notes korang sebagai "my autobiography" dan sile guna korang pnye jawapan sendirik, bukan tiru eh. kemudian tag 21 kawan korang termasuk saye ye. kalo takda 21 kawan..? hmm sian korang. ;p

dari sini kita kenal kawan2.

1. Where did you take your profile pic?
karvey's place

2. What exactly are you wearing right now?
skirt n shirt

3. What is your current problem?
hormones problem..me & my estrogen thingy

4. What makes you happy most?
shopping..beach party..holiday

5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
betapa aku cinta padamu by afgan

6. Any celeb you would marry?
hahahhaa..ROB PATTINSON..then i'll b GIA PATTINSON ABDULLAH for real..

7. Name someone with the same birthday as you?
amira farhana

8. Ever sang in front of a large audience?
yup..havana,tropicana club house..on my bday!hahahahaha

9. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
yupp..fara fauzana esp tang peha..hahahha

10. Do you still watch kiddie movies or kiddie TV shows?
yeahh..tom tom bak...

11. Do you speak any languages?
yeh.bahasa melayu + bahasa gia

12.Do you ever watch MTV?
not really..i prefer E-tv

Chapter 1:
=====================

1. Middle name:
jahizah

2. Nickname(s) (for friends):
sayid..mbok..chic..gia

3. Current location:
office

4. Eye color:
dark brown.

Chapter 2:
=====================

Do you get along well with your parents?
NOPE


Chapter 3: Favorites
===========================

1. Ice creams
choc-mint..ever!

2. Shampoo/conditioner:
clairol herbal essences


Chapter 4: Do You...
===========================

1. Dance in the shower?
nope..usually i juz make it fast!

2. Do you write on your hand?
no..but i love write on others..hahaha

3. Call people back?
occasionally

4. Believe in love?
depends on my mood..currently..NO!!

5. Any mental health issues?
yeah..mood swinger terhebat

Chapter 5: Have You..
.=============================

1. Broken a bone?
not yet.

2. Sprained anything?
yeahh...

3. Had physical therapy?
not yet

4. Gotten stitches?
yeah..

5. Taken painkillers?
YEAHHHHHH..my migrain is killing me

HOW I END MY SENTENCES
===============================

1. I love : ROB PATTINSON

2. I don't understand: LIFE & LOVE

3. When I wake up in the morning: i tend to sleep again..hahahha

4. Life is full of: colours

5. I get annoyed very quickly when: people underestimate & manipulate me..

6. Parties are : FUN

7. Dogs are: T_________________T

8. Cats are: tigers

9. Tomorrow is : tuesday..i'm counting the day..i love weekend

10. I have a low tolerance for: liars..morons..and people who think he/she is d best..

11. If I had a million dollars I : would migrate to UK or christchurch

12. I'm totally terrified of : dying..

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Maknyah Kawen Mamat Britain


>>ni yg aku curik from The Sun UK

I fell for the woman of my dreams... and she turned out to be a he

WHEN Ian Young sat down next to a beautiful woman in a packed cafe in Kuala Lumpur, he had no idea they would one day be married.
Nor did he know that his pretty companion was a man.

In just three years, Ian has gone from being a straight lad from Derby - who was with his previous girlfriend for eight years - to being in a full-time same-sex relationship.

Ian married 36-year-old Fatine, who is a pre-op transsexual, in a British civil partnership ceremony in May.


But now Fatine faces deportation back to Malaysia, where homosexuality is ILLEGAL.

Ian, 30, who owns his own property maintenance company, says: "I know it is hard for people to understand but I love Fatine. I feel lucky to have met such a caring, wonderful person.

"It doesn't matter to me that she is a transsexual - it's the person she is inside that I care about and love.

"I can't contemplate the idea of us not being together. I look at her and see a beautiful woman."

Ian met Fatine in a Starbucks cafe in the Malaysian capital's famous Petronas Towers in August 2006. He was working as a security officer in the country at the time.

He says: "I asked if I could nick the seat next to her. When she looked up and said, 'Yes' I was overwhelmed by her striking eyes and exotic features.

"We started talking and I was immediately impressed by how good her English was. When she got up to leave I asked for her number.


Kissed

"That's when she said she might not be what I was looking for and that she was actually a transsexual. I just said, 'Oh' and blushed with embarrassment. But for some reason I wasn't put off.

"I'd never met a transsexual before and my instinct was that I liked Fatine. Even if it was just as friends, I wanted to meet her again."


Two days later Ian and Fatine, who was born Mohammed Fazdil Bin Min Bahari, met at a bar - and kissed at the end of the night.

Ian says: "It just felt right. My first impression in the coffee shop was that Fatine was a woman.

"If she happened to have male sex organs then that was some sort of birth defect. I never thought of her as a man."

The couple met twice more and agreed the feelings they had were more than just friendship.

Ian says: "I was planning to go back to the UK but Fatine was such a warm, gentle person she drew me in.

"I was treated like a meal ticket by other Malaysian girls. But Fatine was different - a successful make-up artist and independent woman."

But the fledgling relationship was not without its problems.

Ian says: "Being a straight man I did have a few concerns about the way I was feeling.

"I wondered if it meant I was gay and I was scared what had happened wasn't right, but I couldn't ignore how I felt."

Fatine, who has taken female hormones since the age of 17, does not want gender reassignment surgery because of the risks involved and because she is happy with her body as it is.

She was also nervous about starting a relationship in a country where transsexuals are often sacked or arrested.


Ian says: "She was disowned by her mother and had encountered a lot of prejudice.

"I began to understand that Fatine and her friends were not a freak show but ordinary people like you or me who just happened to have been born into the wrong body."

When Ian's contract finished five months later he returned to Derby, but he and Fatine realised they both felt strongly about each other. Ian arranged to return to Kuala Lumpur to work, but not before telling all to his mum Patricia.

He recalls: "Mum was fantastic. Having her support was a huge weight off my shoulders."

On his second visit, in October 2007, Ian and Fatine felt ready for a physical relationship.

Ian says: "I was scared about what would happen if sex didn't work. I needn't have worried and it only helped bring us closer. If you love someone, you accept their body no matter how it is."

In December 2008 Ian arranged for Fatine to travel to the UK on a visitor's visa. However, a holiday soon became a long-term stay.

Ian says: "The realisation we could walk down the street together and be happy made it hard to contemplate ever going back to Malaysia.

"I started feeling incredibly proud to have Fatine on my arm."

A month into Fatine's visit Ian proposed and they applied to the Home Office for a Certificate of Approval to Marry. This allowed them to proceed with a civil partnership, which they hoped would support Fatine in getting a permanent visa.

Ian says of the ceremony: "My friends and family turned out to Derby Register Office and their presence was a huge boost.

"Everyone was so supportive. Mum said, 'I've got a son and a daughter now'. For Fatine it was strange to be surrounded by people who were so accepting of her and our relationship.

"Fatine wore a beautiful red silk dress and looked utterly stunning."


Fancy

Ian has been pleasantly surprised by people's acceptance. He says: "There is always a moment of shock on their face when they find out Fatine isn't a woman. Seconds later they accept it, then ask if I'm gay. But, as strange as it sounds, I'd never say I fancy men."

Despite their dedication to each other, the couple's plans to stay in the UK are now in turmoil after Fatine's Leave To Remain Visa was refused in September on the grounds of an incorrect passport photo.

Their second application was rejected because it was received after Fatine's visitor's visa expired. She has now been told to return to Malaysia.

Ian says: "I simply don't accept the reasons we have been given for each refusal of the application.

"Our local MP has even got in touch with the Home Office but they won't budge. They say Fatine has to return to Malaysia, which is something we wouldn't be able to do as a couple.

"Over there we would face imprisonment just for living together.

"We want to do simple things like have a mortgage. We feel desperate, our options are quickly running out.

"Fatine can reapply from Malaysia but who knows how long that would take, or if it would even be accepted.

"We might be different from your average couple but we love each other - and being forced apart is our worst nightmare."

Head of Immigration for the UK Border Agency, Matthew Coats, said: "This applicant entered the UK as a visitor. The rules are clear that a visitor must leave the UK within six months but may reapply for a new visa from their country of origin."


**my favorite mak nyah's clip**

wah...daring sungguh pondan zaman sekarang..siap dapat tangkap ikan besar la..i feel intimidated mannnnn...ko pondan lagi cun dari aku...aisyy...actually aku dapat tau pasal ni from mr bobo..ape lagi...ktorg dok menggoogle je mlm tadi..siap tgk thai pnye pondan..cun NAK MAMPOS ok...aku pon kalah...kulit dorg mmg flawless la...body xyah cakap la..mesti hasil cucuk sana cucuk sini..ni yang rasa mcm nak cucuk2

tapi takut juga bila memikirkan isu2 mcm neh..mmg nampak macam kelakar..tapi x sebenarnye..maka..JANGAN KETAWA

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Gingerbread




Gingerbread - Ku Cari Damai Di Hati

Mengapa kau tergamak sungguh
Memperdaya harapan ini
Tunas kasih yang aku semai
Racun berbisa yang kau sirami

Beginikah balasan cinta
Manis kata di bibir saja
Lembut lidah mengukir janji
Segunung mimpi berkecai kini

Sesalan tidak terucap
Bila kau berubah sikap
Ku sedar siapa diri ku
Kau buat tempat berteduh

Semoga engkau bahagia
Di samping kekasih baru
Andainya engkau kecewa
Janganlah kau cari aku

Biar saja aku sendiri
Yang mencari damai di hati
Airmata basah di pipi
Tak mungkin dapat membasuh luka


****
Sempena Christmas yg mendatang..aku letak tajuk Gingerbread..hahhaa..

Lagu ni ditujukan kepada Mr-Wotever-I-Don't-Care

From: Ms-Do-Anything-I-Want


Message: Nothing is more humiliating than to see idiots succeed in enterprises we have failed in.Hope u get my message Mohd Shafizul Hamid. May Allah guides us all and forgives us for our weakness..Ameen

HIStory



Long before Robert Thomas Pattinson began driving women wild as dreamy vampire Edward Cullen in the Twilight movie franchise, he was just a shy boy, nicknamed Patty, from London. "Rob's gobsmacked [British for astounded] by all the attention he's getting," an aunt of his, Diana Nutley, says in a revealing interview. "He's very cool about it all, but he can't believe it either."

But when he was growing up in a cozy Victorian home in London's Barnes neighborhood, the only females chasing the future actor were his sisters, Victoria, 28, and Lizzy, 25. "They used to dress me up as a girl and introduce me as Claudia," recalls Rob, the only son of Richard Pattinson, a vintage-car dealer, and mom Clare,
a modeling-agency booker.

Although Rob sometimes took cover from his siblings, he was known for hamming it up at family gatherings. "I remember we had a party in the garden one July," Diana recalls. "We had a wonderful game to see how many dough-nuts we could eat without licking our lips. It's impossible -- Rob was covered in jam."

But Rob had cleaned up his act by the time he transferred from the all-boys Tower House prep school to the coed Harrodian School at age 12. "It was a real turning point for me," admits the actor, who earned pocket change then by delivering newspapers and walking dogs. "I became cool and discovered hair gel."

remember me


Remember Me

Trailer Park | MySpace Video


Pattinson will play the lead role in "Remember Me," a story of a young couple whose burgeoning relationship is complicated by a succession of family tragedies that test their bond, according to ScreenDaily.com. The makers of the film, which had previously been titled "Memoirs," have not yet settled on which actress who will play Pattinson's love interest.

Emmy-winning director Allen Coulter ("The Sopranos," "Damages") will direct, and Jenny Lumet, who penned the script for last year's critical darling "Rachel Getting Married," is working on a draft of the screenplay.

After "New Moon" wraps in May, Pattinson will head to New York to shoot "Remember Me," which will finish in time for the actor to begin filming the third "Twilight" movie, "Eclipse," in August.

Summit is staying tight-lipped about plot specifics, but co-chairman and CEO Patrick Wachsberger likened "Remember Me" to "Love Story," the classic 1970 romance starring Ali MacGraw and Ryan O'Neal.

Monday, November 30, 2009

xecca---->KAKA

Have you all watch New Moon? I went to 12.45p.m showing yesterday with mr LO. This is my 3rd time.

New Moon Review:
All was good until Edward was going to the Volturi and the Film MELTED right there on the screen (it was pretty like whoa what just happened). I'm awaited patiently for the ending it was worth it. I loved the Movie I really did I have no complaints. ROB (apparently he robbed my soul) was amazing in it and I'm super excited for Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.


I would write more on the Movie and most likely will but I’ll wait a few days to give those a chance to watch it. Heart gratitude to lo who completely made my day..hahahha..lepas 6 bulan kita jumpa okies



actually this entry is dedicated to Xecca since she's posted exclusively an entry bout me.hehehe..

Xecca is kind of witty, an interesting clan, smart n most of the time she's CRAZY, etc..thats what makes her HER. its part of her charm.

shes totally down to earth and normal and so awkward and has completely her own style and personality and that is what makes her a real person rather than a blonde fake eyelashes, thick make up, dumb whiny metropolitan girls. she's natural and gorgeous. (nak duit raya!!!)

shes been one of my favorite girlfriend.We talked about life, relationship, family problems etc.Hmmm hmm i reckon i am not the best friend that she get. But! at least i help a little bit. help to contribute gossip to her.hahahha...

p/s:oit..datang umah aku kalo x busy..kt g swimming skali..hehehhe..byk bnda nak citer neh

Sunday, November 29, 2009

robsessed



::credit to ROBsessed blog::

Obsession Definition:

1. the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.
2. the idea, image, desire, feeling, etc., itself.
3. the state of being obsessed.
4. the act of obsessing.

Robsessed by Phantom Writer

Gia is so obsessed with Robert Thomas Pattinson.

The sweet 23-years-old lady admits she’s Rob Pattinson superfan, and has studied him so intensely

And Gia admits her obsession has become so strong, her own boyfriend now refuse to watch the Rob Pattinson films with her.

She explains, “I’ve seen twilight like 50 times now. My boyfy don’t like to watch Twilight with me anymore."


Obsession by Frankie J ft Baby Bash

Well it's early in the morning
And my heart is feeling lonely
Just thinkin bout you baby
Got me twisted in the head
And I dont know how to take it
But it's driving me so crazy
I dont know if it's right
I'm tossin turning in my bed
It's 5 oclock in the morning
And I still can't sleep
Thinkin bout your beauty it makes me weak...
I'm feeling hopeless in my home
I dont know what to do I think I'm in love
Baby...

[Chorus]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Then what am I feeling (what am I doing wrong)
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?

Now I know you're not my lady
But I'm just tryin to make this right
I dont know what to do I'm going out of my mind
So baby if u let me
Kick it witchu well than maybe we could ride together
We could do this all nite
Now I dont care if u got a man
Baby I wish you'd understand
Cuz I know he can't love u right, quite like I can
It's 5 oclock in the morning
And I still can't sleep
Thinkin bout your beauty it makes me weak...
I'm feeling hopeless at home
I dont kno what to do I think I'm in love

[Chorus]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Then what am I feeling? (what am I doing wrong)
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?

I love the way u freaky like that
I love the way u freaky like that
I love the way u freaky like that
It's an obsession

[Baby Bash]
Hold up let me dream
Shorty got me feelin less surene
Where my candy, where my cream
Got your boy feel less supreme
Hold up wait a minute baby you so damn independent
Loving everything your representing
Got alot of money, I love to spend it
And thats whats up and I dont care what people scream
You're my blessin when I'm stressin
My superfly beauty queen
I'm gonna keep it saucy
Cuz my ma know how I do
We go rendez-vous
Mi corazon belongs to you

[Chorus]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Then what am I feeling? (what am I doing wrong) what am I do wrong [echo]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
What am I feeling? (what am I doing wrong?) what am I do so wrong? [echo]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?

Amor

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Disappoinment-



Resah hatiku merinduimu
Terbayang-bayang anggun, senyum dan tawamu
Baru semalam rasanya bagai setahun
Pemergianmu tak tertanggung

Indah suasana tika bersama
Siang dan malam seolah di alam syurga
Cintamu itu cinta yang setulus jiwa
Dimana ku cari gantinya

Telah kulupa detik hitam selamanya
Yang menodai cinta kita
Tidak terdaya menahan takdirnya
Engkau abadi di dalam dada
http://www.free-lyrics.org

( korus )
Sepi dunia didalam riuh rendahnya
Pedih jiwaku tanggung derita
Patah hatiku kesalan tiada terhingga
Kau satu dalam berjuta

Kepada Tuhan tempatku taruh harapan
Engkau selamanya dalam bahagia
Cintamu itu biar kukenanginya
Di sudut kamar hatiku...

Sekadar coretan buat kenangan
Cerita kita di sini kuabadikan
Tinggi harapan semoga diketemukan
Di alam impian syurga idaman
Tinggi harapan semoga diketemukan
Di alam impian syurga idaman


amacam??retro x??lagu ni macam cool juga..ade memori lagu ni sebab mohd shafizul hamid pernah nyanyi lagu neh time ktorg g karaoke..aku rasa macam die saje je nyanyi lagu ni kat aku supaya time da break up..aku yg kena main hati ni ble nyanyi lagu ni balik kat diri sendiri...ok..aku da nyanyi 8 jam tanpa henti lagu neh..sampai x boleh tido..siap nanges yg ditahan2..perit giler babi kot nanges dalam hati..ibarat edward cullen rasa tekak die panas macam kna salai sebab x dapat isap darah bella...

korg ingat x rasa mcm palat ke kena main mcm neh..main hati btol2..fucked up giler babi kot..kadang2 semua2 ni memang mengatasi logika la..nak buat macam mne..hidup kena teroskan jugalah..da r siap janji manis bagai raja gula..mungkin juga die adalah waris raja gula..banyak pokok tebu juga di perlis tu..mungkin2..mungkin juga..xpe2..

mohd shafizul..u berbahagia la dgn si nurazlimawati iskandar tu..tapi..jgn risau ok..ALLAH tu sangat adil..wot goes up..MUST come down...mungkin u sgt bahagia bunga2 cinta kan..ye r..da engage sumer..tapi hidup ni masih panjang..u hanya mampu merancang..macam i jugalah..merancang macam2 bila dgn u..tp end up..u messed up like sooooooooooo damn well syg..u sgt camouflage..u sangat pandai buat org rasa u baik giler babi..bravo!!bravo!!i tertipu 3 minggu..(jadi tipah ali setan sat::tipah tertipu bang..tipah tertipu!!)hahahahhahhaha*evil*

aku ni bukan berdendam..perasaan ni lebih dari dendam..kawan aku cakap aku x ble terima rejection..yeah...sedap cakap je kan...bukan x boleh terima rejection..aku x suka kena main2 mcm neh..aku ni bukan org yg buat 1st move dalam any type of relationship..sape yg approach n aku suka..aku comfortable..ade chemistry..baru aku react..kalo x..xde la aku memendam rasa kat cotton candy tu 6-7 taun..jadi..biler macam ni..perasaan sendiri rasa macam giler babi hurt tatau nak cakap macam mne da..

nasib baik time2 tengah broken hearted ni banyak benda external masuk dalam diri..xde la sakit sangat..tahniah kepada GIA kerana sudah pulih sepenuhnya..**applause**

P/S: lo..ko bina lah badan macam jacob tu..thanx ok kuar ngan aku semalam..kiter jumpa 6 bulan lagi..nanti kiter g kangar sme..belasah budak x cukup inci tu...

twilight..sunlight..moonlight..limelight...

I must say that Twilight the Soundtrack is quite the rave for me nowadays. The songs featured inside are all quite catchy and you have nice beats, fast ones, kind of melodramatic tunes and sometimes kind of rock sounding. Including in the rock tunes and other beats would be some tracks that I highly recommend.
Try listening to Bella’s Lullaby and also Super Massive Black Hole. Awesome, I tell you.


yours,
gia pattinson abdullah


SUPER MASSIVE BLACK HOLE by MUSE

Ooh, baby don't you know I suffer?
Oh, baby can you hear me moan?
You caught me under false pretenses
How long before you let me go?

Ooh, you set my soul alight
Ooh, you set my soul alight

Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive
(Ooh, you set my soul alight)
Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive
(Ooh, you set my soul)

I thought I was a fool for no one
But ooh, baby I'm a fool for you
You're the queen of the superficial
And how long before you tell the truth?

Ooh, you set my soul alight
Ooh, you set my soul alight

Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive
(Ooh, you set my soul alight)
Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive
(Ooh, you set my soul)

Supermassive black hole
Supermassive black hole
Supermassive black hole
Supermassive black hole

Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive
Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive

Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive
(Ooh, you set my soul alight)
Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive
(Ooh, you set my soul)

Supermassive black hole
Supermassive black hole
Supermassive black hole
Supermassive black hole

Sunday, November 22, 2009

reanna pattinson abdullah





inilah rupa my daughter kalo kawen ngan rob pattinson..hahahhah

gia hassim + robert pattinson abdullah = reanna pattinson abdullah

mata ikut aku
warna mata ikut die
kening ikut aku (damnnnnn..aku x ske kening aku dollll)
bibir ikut die
hidung ikut aku..(xpe..besar nanti ikut daddy pnye ok)

ntah..nanti la aku analyze lagi..pening pale aku tgk mke anak comel sgt...hahahhaktui!!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

venom attack by gia pattinson abdullah

hi guys..agak ade byk benda nak citer la sebenarnye..lemme make it more structured so that u guys can understand my essay "cincai sempena kepala otak bengong nak mampos" with ease.

1.i attacked 5 y.o kiddo wif my venom
aku tatau la nape aku sgt moody semenjak,dua menjak tiga menjak neh..panas hati tuhan je tau..semalam aku gaduh ngan budak kecik 5 taun kot..sebab..mulut budak kecik tu sgt macam cik bedah dari kampung sebelah mne aku tatau..apparently..die keturunan tengku2 fm diz state yg x besar mne pon la...kalo korg tau pasal aku..aku ni pencinta kanak2..part time job aku masa tunggu result SPM n result MATRIX jadi baby sitter kot...aku xde masalah langsung nak jaga budak..yang aku fucked up nye..da la dtg umah aku x salam..SATU..cakap soh aku dok jauh2 sebab aku budak kampung..DUA..yg best nye..bila aku tammo mengalah nak jugak dok situ die cakap aku bodo..TIGA..

TIGA sudah mencukupi..TIGA sudah mencukupi...

ape lagi...aku pon bahasakan la budak tu dengan loghat negeri budak tu..naseb baik la aku pandai bercakap bahasa budak tu paham..kena sekolah tros budak tu..bukankah
keturunan diraja sepatutnya lebih beradab dari keturunan kebiasaan..aku bukan x pernah berkawan dengan org2 keturunan mcm neh..PLUS..dorg pnye tengku yg mmg rapat dengan pemegang takhta (samada sepupu..atau adik beradik..)..xde pon nak kerek macam ni...ni baru 5 taun..cuba bayangkan kalo da meningkat ke 15 taun..25 taun...spoil brat giler..

then TODAY..she's nice to me..mintak maaf..macam tu lah bagus..ada adab..

no offence to her family member..walaupon aku ni dari keturunan kebanyakan n aku x marah pon kalo nak cakap aku org kampung..ke nak kata aku busuk (wpon aku pakai perfume carolina hererra 212 sexy)..AKU STILL HORMAT ORG TUA..walaupon mak bapak aku x ajar..sebab aku dari institusi keluarga yg berpecah belah..aku xkan kurang ajar ngan org tua...ok..maybe nampak aku macam childish ke emo terlebey..aku x kesah..cakap la pape korg suka..kalo anak aku..aku masukkan dalam mesin basuh..basuh cukup2..benda2 macam ni sebenarnye datang daripada family juga..xde yang nak tegur anak pnye perangai..x salah nak manjakan anak..tapi..bukan ke sayang anak tangan tangan kan..jgn la ko tangan anak ko sampai lebam nak mati..dalam lembut ade tegas..bagi anak hormat sikit kat parents..aku ni..walaupon bapak aku buat perangai x hengat bagi mak aku suffer..xde la plak aku kurang ajar ngan die..so..LESSON 101: kanak2 perlu diasuh dgn cara yang betul terutama dalam hal2 yg macam ni..nanti org cakap.."mak bapak ko x ajar ke"..mula nak melenting..


2.aku tengah menjalani operasi kurus kering..pada asasnya..ms steph wheelchester yg launch bnda ni..jadi aku pon terpanggil untuk menguruskan badan..1st n foremost..aku cut makan nasi..tambahkan aktiviti senaman...banyak kan minum air...ade banyak lagi la benda aku buat..by 2010..nu chapter..nu figure..nu wardrobe..i hope evrthng gonna b awesome by next year..


3. aku memang tengah gila kat EDWARD CULLEN..sejak dulu die jadi cedric kat harry potter..nak buat macam mne..biar la org nak cakap die selekeh ke ape..will hav new moon date wif my ex-skolmate..YAY!!!ko cancel siap!!!twilight..twilight

aku da tiba2 tatau nak tulis ape...byk sangat distraction macam @$%^&*(..till then..

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Gone


There's a thousand words that I could say
To make you come home
Oh, seems so long ago you walked away
Left me alone
I remember what you said to me
You were acting so strange
and maybe I was too blind to see
That you needed a change

Was it something I said
To make you turn away?
To make you walk out and leave me cold
If I could just find a way
To make it so that you were right here
But right now..

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains..

You're gone..
You're gone..
Baby you're gone
Girl you're gone, baby girl, you're gone..
You're gone..
You're...

I don't wanna make excuses, baby
Won't change the fact that you're gone
But if there's something that I could do
Won't you please let me know?
Time is passing so slowly now
Guess that's my life without you
and maybe I could change my every day
But baby I don't want to

So I'll just hang around
and find some things to do
To take my mind off missing you
and I know in my heart
You can't say that you don't love me too
Please say you do

Yeeaah....

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I Drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone...you're gone.. you're....
Gone

Ohhh...

Oh what'll I do
If I can't be with you
Tell me where will I turn to
Baby where will I be
Now that we are apart
Am I still in your heart?
Baby why don't you see?
That I need you here with me
Oohhh...

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

Been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone
Gone
You're gone..

But the truth remains
You're....

*********************

salam alayk...aku ari ni rasa pelik bin ajaib bin segala magic yg ade la..In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Praying for Forgiveness and Repentance * By Harun Yahya



All through their lives, certain people pursue a flawless image for themselves. Their efforts center around one goal: to be perfect and to look perfect. This is a natural consequence of finding it degrading to make a mistake. The ideal person, they consider, is one who can project an aura of impeccability.

However, this "flawlessness" is an illusionary goal. Neither is it one of the attributes of a believer we find extolled in the Qur'an. We would go so far as to say that such a "believer model" does not exist. For mankind is inherently weak, humble, and helpless before God and can consequently makes mistakes all throughout life.

No doubt, people will always do their best to avoid mistakes and sins, yet, being frail servants of God, they will not succeed in being free of all mistakes.
In the Qur'an we are informed that mankind has faults and sins before God:

[If God were to punish men according to what they deserve, He would not leave on the surface of the earth one single living creature: but He gives them respite for a stated term: when their term expires, truly, (they will know that) God has in His sight all His Servants](Fatir 35:45)
In accordance with this divine command stated in the Qur'an, the attitude expected of believers is not that of being faultless or sinless. They are only expected to constantly seek forgiveness from God.

This is actually an attribute that makes the distinction between a believer and non-believer. Unbelievers struggle to cover up their faults and sins, yet believers never try to do this.

What is important for them is to feel an inner regret and consequently turn to God and seek His forgiveness.

While reading the Qur'an, we see that the willingness to ask for forgiveness is a natural and unfailing attribute of the believers. On that account, we understand that believers never see themselves as beings purified of all sins and faults. On the contrary, they continually seek refuge in God's mercy. In the following verse, turning to God in repentance is regarded as one of the important attributes of a believer:

[Those who turn to God in repentance; who serve Him, and praise Him; who fast in devotion to the cause of God; who bow down and prostrate themselves in prayer; who enjoin good and forbid evil; who observe the limit set by God, shall be richly rewarded. Proclaim the glad tidings to the believers.](At-Tawbah 9:112)

Forgiveness Vis-à-Vis Repentance

Asking for forgiveness of God is a regular aspect of worship for believers. People can ask forgiveness of God all day long for all their sins, whether deliberately or unintentionally committed. Moreover, as well as asking for forgiveness for themselves, they can also do it for other believers, as stated in the Qur'an.

In Arabic, the word for "asking for forgiveness" is istighfar which is "asking for God's attribute of Ghafir, or He who forgives.

Thus, asking for forgiveness of God is like pledging to purify one's self and hence seeking refuge in the mercy and grace of God. In the Qur'an the believers pray saying what means:


["Our Lord! Forgive us our sins, remove from us our iniquities, and take to Yourself our souls in the company of the righteous"](Aal `Imran 3:193)


The judgment of God regarding this is as below:



[I am with you: if you (but) say your prayers regularly, practice regular charity, believe in my messengers, honor and assist them, and loan to God a beautiful loan, indeed I will rid you of your evils, and admit you to gardens with rivers flowing beneath; but if any of you, after this, denies Me, he will truly have wandered from the path of rectitude](Al-Ma'idah 5:12)


As mentioned above, praying for forgiveness of God may be both for sins, committed intentionally or unintentionally, as well as for the sins of other believers. This is the most important distinction between asking for forgiveness and repentance.

Although praying for forgiveness is a regular prayer of the believers, repentance is the steadfast attitude taken towards a particular sin or fault, or the giving of a firm decision not to turn to that sin again.

Repentance is seeking refuge in God for one's sin, promising not to commit that sin again and, to this end asking the guidance and help of God. The exact meaning of repentance is "to turn back". Thus, repentance expresses an absolute commitment not to commit any particular sin again.

The intention behind repentance is not to repeat the same sin. God enjoins the faithful thus:


[O you who believe! Turn to God with sincere repentance, in the hope that your Lord will remove from you your ills and admit you to Gardens beneath which Rivers flow](At-Tahrim 66:8)

However, this is not to say that believers repent for a sin or fault only once. They may repent on one occasion, and then, in a moment of weakness, repeat the same sin. However, the mercy of God never ceases to encompass them. This is why they can still repent to God and seek refuge in Him. God is always ready to show grace and mercy to the believers. This is stated in the Qur'an:


[O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Do not despair of the Mercy of God: for God forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." Turn to your Lord (in repentance) and bow to His Will, before the Penalty comes upon you: after that you shall not be helped](Az-Zumar 39:53-54)

Pharaoh's Repentance


Still, there is one kind of repentance God will not accept: the insincere repentance offered when death comes. This is actually the moment people meet the angels of death. Of this the Qur'an says what means:


[God accepts the repentance of those who do evil in ignorance and repent soon afterwards; to them God will turn in mercy: for God is full of knowledge and wisdom. Of no avail is the repentance of those who continue to do evil, until death faces one of them, and he says, "Now I have repented indeed" nor of those who die rejecting Faith: for them We have prepared a most grievous punishment](An-Nisaa' 4:17-18)

In the Qur'an, God gives the striking example of such an act of repentance made at the last moment. Pharaoh, who chased Moses and the believers in order to kill them, ended by expressing his repentance while he drowned in the sea — a miracle wrought by God.


[At length, when overwhelmed with the flood, he said: I believe that there is no god except Him Whom the Children of Israel believe in: I am of those who submit (to God in Islam)](Yunus 10:90)

However, God's response to him was what means:


[Ah now! But a little while before, you were in rebellion! and you perpetrated mischief and violence!](Yunus 10:91)

Since repentance is essential to the eternal salvation of people, they should well be aware of its importance and observe this form of worship to the best of their ability. People may have sinned extensively or have rebelled against one's Creator. Yet, God encompasses His servants with so much mercy that He grants eternal salvation in response to a sincere repentance:


[When those who believe in Our signs, come to you say: "Peace be upon you: Your Lord has decreed for Himself (the rule of) mercy: truly, if any of you committed evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented, and mended his ways, he would find God Oft-forgiving and Most Merciful."](Al-An`am 6:54)

Keep in mind that God even forgives unbelievers and hypocrites who fought against Him and His Messenger, if they turn back to God with sincere and true repentance:


[The Hypocrites shall be cast into the lowest depths of the Fire: no helper will you find for them; But those who repent, mend their ways, hold fast to God, and are sincere in their devotion to Him-they shall be numbered with the believers. And soon God will grant to the believers a reward of immense value](An-Nisaa' 4:145-146)


[Those who conceal the clear signs We have sent down, and the guidance, after We have made it clear for the people in the Book-on them shall be God's curse, and the curse of those entitled to curse, except those who repent and make amends and openly declare the Truth. Toward them I shall relent; for I am the Relenting one and Most Merciful] (Al-Baqarah 2:159-160)

This is a great opportunity God grants to His servants. He commands people never to be overwhelmed by despair due to any sin they have committed and always to turn to Him in hope. However, misinterpretation of this concept and an insincere attitude do not earn people divine approval. Knowing the commandments of God, yet deliberately committing sins, saying "no matter what happens, I will be forgiven" shows completely flawed reasoning.

Such are the people who "reject faith after they accepted it, and then go on adding to their defiance of faith". Only the repentance of those who out of ignorance commit sins is accepted. The repentance of insincere people, who simply take repentance as the freedom to commit sins are, however, rejected. Stress is laid on this in the Qur'an:


[But those who reject faith after they have accepted it, and then go on adding to their defiance of faith, will never have their repentance accepted; for they are those who have of set purpose gone astray](Aal `Imran 3:90)
One point needs clarification here: It is quite possible that, being ignorant, being in a state of heedlessness, or indulging in desires, people may very well commit sins. However, if people realize theirs faults and sincerely repent, God may well be forgiving. However, people who commit sins, although knowing the judgments of God, saying, "I will be forgiven no matter what happens," are merely deceivers. That is why their repentance is not acceptable to God.

It is hardly necessary to say that heartfelt regret and sincerity are the keys to divine forgiveness.

The Qur'anic injunction: [Call on your Lord with humility and in private](Al-A`raf 7:55) also applies when showing contrition asking for forgiveness. While repenting for serious errors especially, deep regret and a sincere attitude are essential. As an example of repentance and forgiveness, the Qur'an cites the case of the three Muslims who were left behind, when all others had gone to fight in the cause of God, thereby committing a great sin;


[God turned with favor to the Prophet, the Muhajirs, and the Ansar, who followed him in a time of distress, when the hearts of some of them had nearly swerved from duty; but He turned to them (also): for He is Most Kind, and Most Merciful to them. He turned in mercy also to the three who were left behind; they felt guilty to such a degree that the earth seemed constrained to them, for all its spaciousness, and their very souls seemed straitened to them, and they perceived that there was no fleeing from God and no refuge but in Him. Then He turned to them, so that they might repent: for God is the Forgiving One and Most Merciful.](At-Tawbah 9:117-118)

Asking forgiveness of God and repenting one's sins serve as pure expressions of being a sincere servant to God. Believers should be well aware that they may commit sins, but that they should take refuge in the mercy and grace of God. Simply worrying, or feeling grief for one's former sins is quite pointless. Man should consider the story of the messengers who made some errors, yet continued their struggle after sincerely repenting. Man should trust in the forgiveness of God.


In the Qur'an it is mentioned that praying for forgiveness and expressing repentance are ways to eternal salvation:



[If it were not for God's grace and mercy to you, and that God is Forgiving and full of Wisdom, (you would indeed be ruined).](An-Nur 24:10)

* Reprinted with permission from the author. Slight editorial changes have been made to the article. To see the original, visit www.harunyahya.com.
The author, who writes under the pen-name Harun Yahya, was born in Ankara in 1956. He studied arts at Istanbul's Mimar Sinan University and philosophy at Istanbul University. Since the 1980s, the author has published many books on political, faith-related and scientific issues. Some of the books of the author have been translated into English, German, French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Albanian, Arabic, Polish, Russian, Bosnian, Indonesian, Turkish, Tatar, Urdu and Malay.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

s for sayid

It’s harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag ten people. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real - nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can’t use your name for the boy/girl name question.

The Letter is S

1. What is your name: sayid

2. A four Letter Word: sial

3. A boy’s Name: shah

4. A girl’s Name: sheila

5. An occupation: surveyor

6. A color: silver

7. Something you’ll wear: shirt

9. A food: sirloin steak

10. Something found in the bathroom: shampoo

11. A place: scarlet

12. A reason for being late: sick

13. Something you’d shout: sial!!!

14. A movie title: sex and the city

15. Something you drink: strawberry milkshake

16. A musical group: silverchair

17. An animal: snake

18. A street name: skudai lama

19. A type of car: Skyline

20. The title of a song: seadanya aku by nubhan

think!!

Ada seorang pemuda yang lama sekolah di luar negeri, kembali ke
tanah air.

Sesampainya di rumah ia meminta kepada orang tuanya untuk mencari
seorang guru agama,kiyai atau sesiapa sahaja yang boleh menjawab
3 pertanyaannya.

Akhirnya orang tua pemuda itu mendapatkan orang tersebut, seorang
kiyai.

Pemuda: Anda siapa? Dan apakah bisa menjawab pertanyaan-
pertanyaan saya?

Kiyai : Saya hamba Allah dan dengan izin-Nya saya akan menjawab
pertanyaan anda.

Pemuda: Anda yakin? Sedangkan Profesor dan ramai orang yang
pintar tidak mampu menjawab pertanyaan saya.

Kiyai : Saya akan mencuba sejauh kemampuan saya.

Pemuda: Saya ada 3 pertanyaan:-
1. Kalau memang Tuhan itu ada, tunjukan wujud Tuhan kepada saya

2. Apakah yang dinamakan takdir

3. Kalau syaitan diciptakan dari api kenapa dimasukan
ke neraka yang dibuat dari api, tentu tidak
menyakitkan buat syaitan. Sebab mereka memiliki unsur yang sama.
Apakah Tuhan tidak pernah berfikir sejauh itu?

Tiba-tiba kyai tersebut menampar pipi pemuda tadi dengan keras.

Pemuda (sambil menahan sakit): Kenapa anda marah kepada saya?

Kiyai : Saya tidak marah...Tamparan itu adalah jawaban saya atas

3 pertanyaan yang anda ajukan kepada saya.

Pemuda: Saya sungguh-sungguh tidak mengerti.

Kiyai : Bagaimana rasanya tamparan saya?

Pemuda: Tentu saja saya merasakan sakit.

Kiyai : Jadi anda percaya bahwa sakit itu ada?

Pemuda: Ya!

Kiyai : Tunjukan pada saya wujud sakit itu!

Kiyai : Itulah jawaban pertanyaan pertama...kita semua merasakan
kewujudan Tuhan tanpa mampu melihat

Kiyai : Apakah tadi malam anda bermimpi akan ditampar oleh saya?

Pemuda: Tidak.

Kiyai : Apakah pernah terfikir oleh anda akan menerima sebuah
tamparan dari saya hari ini?

Pemuda: Tidak.

Kiyai : Itulah yang dinamakan takdir.

Kiyai : Terbuat dari apa tangan yang saya gunakan untuk menampar
anda?

Pemuda: Kulit.

Kiyai : Terbuat dari apa pipi anda?

Pemuda: Kulit.

Kiyai : Bagaimana rasanya tamparan saya?

Pemuda: Sakit.

Kiyai : Walaupun syaitan dijadikan dari api dan neraka juga
terbuat dari api, jika Tuhan menghendaki maka neraka akan menjadi
tempat yang menyakitkan untuk syaitan.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

the lost soul



I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.

I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.

I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. (Amen to that!)

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned that I'm getting more and more like my grandma, and I'm kinda happy about it.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed it

I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned that if you don't want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.

I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them.

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.

I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.

I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.

I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.

I've learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.

I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meaning, it loses value when overly used.

I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.